Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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