I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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