I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
