Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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