its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
