i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize