I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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