At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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