She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I have post one night stand depression
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
