On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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