thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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