this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How does it feel to date your dad?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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