But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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