There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
