I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
