I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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