In America we eat man semen.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize