I seem to have left my pride at pride
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
