Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize