Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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