i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We are all done wearing pants today
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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