sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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