bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
