4 words: hood of his car
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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