If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize