Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
