Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
