Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We left an ass print on the piano.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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