i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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