i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
