PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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