I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Your penis caused this!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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