There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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