Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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