So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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