You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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