If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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