im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I need moral support for this bender
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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