Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
This toilet bowl is my home.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
