My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
this will be a night to untag.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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