If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
