What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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