he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
