he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
