Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
