So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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