Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
