since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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