it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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