PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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