he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
