the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I love having hate sex.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
