so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i need some magic done to my vagina
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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