You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
