i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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