I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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