i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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