I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
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I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
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My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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