This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
