She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
