I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
His hands were made for my vagina.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
