So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
