i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
