I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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