Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
