Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
