i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
